Kristin Banta with blonde hair

As Mother of the Bride/Groom, the wedding planning process can be overwhelming and confusing. While you want to be involved with planning your child’s special day, you don’t want to overstep any boundaries and infringe on the couple to be. We interviewed expert event planner, Kristin Banta, to get the inside scoop on the do’s and don’ts for Mothers of the Bride/Groom on the big day. Read our interview with Kristin below!  

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What is your biggest advice for mother of the bride/grooms on the big day?

Remember that this is a day that should be reflective of the couple and encourage your bride or groom to make decisions based on what is authentic to them, even if it is in opposition to traditions that are important to you. Though we understand how difficult it can be for a parent, who is often paying for the wedding, to sign off on a vision that they don’t agree with, we have had many parents acquiesce to the vision of the bride and groom, knowing it’s their day – and they have not had any regrets. 

This should be an expression of the couple’s story and their journey together. It is my job as a designer to determine the goals of all parties and to deliver something that all will be proud of while never sacrificing the couple’s story. No matter what, I have a mission to design something reflective of the couple and all the things they love but if I am creating a design that is luxe at its core, well-curated and always the embodiment of dignity, neither party should ever be disappointed. The best weddings are always those that are personalized and thereby unique.

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What is a mother of the bride/groom fashion faux pas that you have seen on the day of? Do you have any tips for her to avoid this situation?

Generally, the most important thing to remember for any mother of a bride or groom is to not upstage the couple with a selection that is overly revealing or not in alignment with the style and tone of their day. I have seen all sorts of fashion show up but the most memorable was when the bride’s mother showed up essentially in a white bridal gown. The bride was visibly shaken when they had their “first look.”

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Is there any wedding etiquette or decorum that the mother of the bride and mother of the groom should be aware of with respect to each other?

It’s important to respect the party funding the wedding and to accordingly be respectful regarding input and number of guests added to the master list. We have had our fair share of groom’s parents insist on inviting everyone on their list while contributing nothing, forcing the bride and her family to cut from their list. It’s a shame when the bride and groom have to cut their friends from the guest list so that the parents can have attendees that the couple has never met.

a person wearing a white dress and a pink bow tie

Kristin Banta is the creative visionary behind Kristin Banta Events, one of the country’s leading event design, planning, and production houses.

Kristin Banta with her hand on her face

KBE has been an innovator for over fifteen years, setting the standard for high-end events – exclusive corporate galas, memorable brand activations, hip entertainment industry soirées, society weddings and destination extravaganzas – among a private and corporate clientele who all share a passion for the dramatically different. 

At the cutting edge of the latest trends in decor, catering and entertainment, KBE takes the client’s vision to an epic new level, orchestrating truly original celebrations in locations worldwide that are provocative and impact all senses, telling a distinct story to each and every guest.

Kristin is a contributing writer to countless lifestyle publications and blogs and has been featured in numerous television shows for networks including Hallmark Channel, Style Network, TNT, SYFY, Food Network, Fox and most notably her own special for Bravo, The Wedding Party.

KBE has been the recipient of numerous awards including Best Event Produced for a Private Individual, Special Events (2016, 2017), Achievement in Catering and Events (ACE) Award for Best Company in the West Region, Catersource (2017, 2018), Event Planner of the Year, Event Solutions (2014, 2015, 2016), and Event Designer of the Year, California Wedding Day Magazine (2017, 2018).

a table with glasses and flowers